Moved, Part 2: Jobs and Three Girls

I'm not gonna lie. The majority of my first week at my new dorm (located conveniently near the most North West stop of subway line 2) was spent watching movies and playing video games that I had downloaded. I had big plans to read a lot of academic papers that I had downloaded from Jstor, but I never got around to reading more than a few short ones. Those video games were damn enjoyable though, and I had a great time getting involved in the plots and intrigues of those imaginary worlds. However, after a week of that comfortable couch potato lifestyle, it was time to do things again. During that week I had started working on some new juggling tricks, as well as balancing a ball on my head. I went to the Temple of Heaven one afternoon to see a re-enactment of a blessing ceremony. This is the ceremony that the emperor of China used to do each year after the spring festival, and it would be done at each the four most important temples in Beijing, Temple of Heaven, Earth, Sun, and Moon. The temple of Earth and Heaven are a lot more famous though, and are bigger tourist spots than the temple of Earth or the moon are. I found the event online, and finding out that it was happening in about an hour, I hurriedly hopped on the subway to head down to the Temple of Heaven and take a took. I had never been to the Temple of Heaven before, and it was on my list of places that I wanted to visit anyway, so I was pretty excited to finally be there. Most of my time there was taken up playing though, because what did I find other than a middle aged Chinese man juggling five balls! He was excited to meet a foreigner that could juggle, and the two of us quickly gathered a crowd. He encouraged me to try a few new tricks, and I quickly discovered that I was a lot closer to getting a 3 ball flash(one of the primary requirements for juggling five balls), three in one hand, and a three ball shower. I was very pleased with this. He even gave me three Russian style balls (they have a fluid or sand inside them, so that the weight is always in the bottom section of the ball).

I hung out with Jamie a lot during this time between semesters, seeing him every day or every other day. After telling me about an American that he had been in contact with who ran an English immersion school, Jamie and I ended up getting jobs! My other English teaching job was on pause, since the students were all out of Beijing for the holidays, so my plan to stay in Beijing and earn cash for the springtime was so far a total bust. This opportunity was perfect timing too, since I was done with my video games and with nothing to do for a week. It was a one week job, but full time, from 8am to 4pm. I had a classroom of thirteen Chinese first graders, whose English was worse than my Chinese (this was a first, since usually Chinese people who study English can say lots more in my language than I can in theirs). I was expecting to be a teacher's assistant, but the teacher of my classroom was meeting with student's parents all day long, so I ended up teaching most of the class. There were a few troublemakers, and a lot of what I said wasn't understood (no matter how slowly or clearly I speak, when somebody just doesn't know a word there is nothing more to be done), but it was a great experience. It is awesome to earn a week's work worth of money, and although my throat is very hoarse from speaking so loudly over the noise of the class for the past week, it was fun to have my job be to play with kids at recess. Some of those kids are absolutely adorable! Jamie and I totally wanted to adopt some of them, and my class had a couple of really cute little 7 and 8 year olds too. I learned about disciplining as a teacher, and it was interesting to think about the power relations between teacher and student as well. Since I was unable (or maybe unwilling, I don't know what the rules are in China) to use physical force to make the students obey, the only power I had over the students was what they gave me. I could tell them to stand up or sit down, or to recite a particular passage, but if they were to have adamantly refused to obey my orders then I could have done nothing to force them. It was also really interesting to see students that were at such a beginning stage of language learning, since most of the people I interact with who can speak English have a vocabulary at least as large as my Chinese vocabulary, and usually much larger. Of course, there were other benefits to the job too. Since I just at what the kids ate, I got free lunches, not to mention two snack times each day (and being the teacher gave me the privilege of eating all the leftover snacks), but about two hours of playing outside each day (there was about half an hour after each snack time and an hour after lunch). I played a lot of badminton with the kids, as well as tag as well the ever-popular "pick up the kid and spin him/her in a circle so s/he flies like an airplane." Jamie took a lot of photos, and there are some really great ones in there, but I don't have them yet. Knowing how busy he will be at his program in Haerbin it may be a while until I get them. The assistant teacher that was in my room, Maggie, was pretty nice too, and, after the meddling of the friendly Jamaican fellow who also worked there, we eventually exchanged phone numbers. That however, is the beginning of another section.

Maggie is nice, fun, is a third year student in college like I am, and is a Business English major (although I have to say that she makes a lot of grammatical errors and has pretty poor pronunciation for being a Business English major). She also won the badminton tournament in her department, did rhythmic gymnastics when she was little, and does both yoga and pole dancing (CULTURAL NOTE: Pole dancing has a really sexual connotation in the US. It's not like that in China. Pole dancing in China is just seen as another way to keep fit, like a pilates class or running on a treadmill). The fact that she is doing something to stay physically active is pretty attractive, since as a very physically active person myself that is something that I am drawn too. Furthermore, the fact that she does pole dancing is really hot. Even though it doesn't have erotic connotations in Chinese culture, I am a Westerner viewing it through a half-east/half-west lens, so I suppose that makes in 50% sexy. Maggie, however, is only one of them. Meng Lili is a 23 year old graduate student that I met when I was volunteering for the China Center for Desertification Control during the fall. She was actually my main contact person, and barring my first two visits to the college, she was the only person I ever saw or interacted with while I volunteered. After the second week, she asked me to come to her apartment instead of meeting her at Agricultural University, since it was more convenient for her. Her place is closer to my college than Agricultural University, so I gave no objection. She shared the apartment with her teacher and friend, whom I met twice. I was even invited to stay for dinner once. Although I never did anything but work on my volunteer assignment (sort of prepping a book for translation, deciding which parts were important enough to translate) over time I started to view Meng Lili as pretty cute, and I think I may have even flirted with her a bit. Either way, after my fall semester ended and I traveled through the south, when I returned to Beijing Lili sent me a text saying that we should get together so that I could tell her about my travels. We had a hot pot together, and it was one of the most enjoyable dinners I have ever had. We talked about so many different things, and I felt great the whole time. The food was good, seeing Lili and spending time with her was good, we both were smiling the whole time, and I told of my adventures in the South and made lots of funny jokes (probably with poor grammar and terrible pronunciation, but hey! I'm still learning.) It wasn't until then that I really started to think of Lili in a romantic way. Actually, the last time we hung out we were walking down a hutong we linked arms (I honestly don't remember who initiated that or how it happened) and then she asked me "这是什么关系?" (what kind of a relationship/meaning is this?) and I replied "我还没决定" (I haven't decided yet). I am seeing her again this Saturday though, and I am taking her to see the CIPA's (a collaboration of many arts groups in Beijing. Jamie and Alana and I were involved in the Death Prom that they did during the fall.) special Beijing version of Dirty Dancing. But of course, I haven't mentioned Fan Rong yet. I met Fan Rong at the Beijing Juggling Club, and maybe she is just the kind of girl that is really friendly, but she always seems to smile to me, talk to me a lot, and gives nice hugs. At about 27 she is much older than me, but that means a lot less to me here in Beijing then it would in the US, since age is difficult to tell as a foreigner to the culture, so she appears to be in her early twenties. To serve as examples of this cross-cultural age judging difficulty, it is easy for myself and my American classmates to pass ourselves off as twenty somethings. Also, look at some pictures on Chinese pop stars like Jay Chou or 李宇春 and try to guess their age. Anyway, Ran Rong is smart, fun, energetic, and very friendly. I also cannot deny that the outfit she wore for yuánxiāo jié (元宵节, the last day of the Chinese new year) was really attractive. However, I am the least sure of her, since her playful style makes me suspect that any romantic attraction I perceive from her is merely a mis-perception on my part. Although Fan Rong is definitely the most physically affectionate and provocative of the three, Maggie is the one whom I know the most about how she feels (and she is my age, which doesn't make too much of a difference, but I feel as though is something I should make note of), where as I am unsure about how Meng Lili feels. Of course, since I will see her again this weekend I may find out more about that situation fairly soon. Regardless, this isn't something I am going to rush into, and it is something I will have to exert a lot of caution with if there will be anything at all.

In China, being somebody's boyfriend involved a lot more holding of hands and talking walks in the parks than it does in America, and there are huge differences in the youth and sex culture too, namely that Chinese people don't often have sex before marriage (although this trend is changing). Although I can't point to any hard facts, I have the impression that boyfriends and girlfriend in China do a lot less kissing, making out, and generally those physically passionate activities that we American youth seem to enjoy so much. Relationships with foreigners can be tricky things too. By our nature, we are fleeting and temporary, so I cannot allow any kind of childish fantasies about bringing her back to America with me, and need to make 100% sure she understands that I am leaving come summertime (unless of course I have that Walt Disney style greatest love in a hundred years kind of thing, but I find that pretty unlikely, don't you?). College students, if they are found to be having sexual relations with a foreigner, can be kicked out of college, suffer rejection and harassment from peers and family, and I hear they can even be arrested for prostitution. Also, a Chinese friend told me that having sex with a Chinese girl if you are not going to marry her will basically ruin her life, since it will make it so much harder for her to find a husband in the future. Apparently Chinese men only want to marry virgins. I am sure that with the opening of the economy and the liberalizing of the culture this is changing, but it is still a risk that I do not plan on taking.

For those you who are reading this and worrying (my mother among your ranks, I am sure), don't. If any romantic relationships happen at all between myself and Chinese girls during my time here, I am NOT going hastily rush into things. I am NOT going to violate cultural (and in my opinion, moral) boundaries by sleeping with a Chinese girl, particularly since I have no intention of getting married to any Chinese girl, or any girl at all, at this point of my life. If I were to have a relationship, it would be a lot of holding hands, photos with the peace sign (very popular in China), going out to dinner together, and paying badminton (if it weren't for ping pong, badminton might very well be the national sport. As a recreational activity, it is even more popular than tai chi).

I had to say goodbye to Jamie the other day. He is leaving for Haerbin, where he will spend his spring semester, while I will be staying in Beijing for the springtime. It was kind of sad. Okay, fine, it was really sad. Jamie is the closest friend I have had in China, and our mutual desire to really learn the language and make Chinese friends has caused us to be even closer. I'll miss him.

I watched Hello, Dolly! recently, and decided that it was really good. Of course, with a dancing genius like Gene Kelly, the star of Singing in the Rain, directing it, how could one expect anything else? To anyone that hasn't seen it, I really recommend it. Funny characters, clever dialogue, and absolutely fantastic dancing. Every time I watch something like that it makes me wish that I chose a college with a dance program. I will have to start taking dance classes again eventually, otherwise I am just gonna be living with a big chunk of regret from not having pursued something with I enjoy. I have also resumed my listening of War and Peace. I am near the end of book 9. I'm not sure how many books there are, but I love the cast of characters so far, although the Russian names are so foreign to me that I have trouble keeping some of the less central characters strait much of the time. War and Peace is just solidifying my respect and appreciation for Leo Tolstoy though.

I am have been typing for so long that my fingers are sore. Next time I will write about my new home, and what is the start of my new life.