Well, my first week of classes for the new semester is almost over. I like the guys I live with a lot. I haven't been spending much time with many of the other students on the program, mostly because I have been busy with studying, working, and getting together with 孟利利 (Mèng Lìlì). I have gone out to dinner with groups of CET students two or three times, but when a group has ten or twelve people, it starts to feel kind of impersonal, and each person just focuses on two or three people that they find interesting. Well, that is what I do, anyway. There are maybe five or six students that I think are particularly interesting who attract me for whatever reason, so I may try to become friends with those people over the course of the semester. The language pledge does create a bit of a barrier though, especially for those who can't say so much. My writing sucks, but I can talk pretty well compared to most of my classmates. I am in the second highest class here, and I am one of the more comfortable and fluent speakers in that class. I am actually one of the more competent Chinese speakers on the program, maybe in the 80th or 90th percentile here. Anyway, even I have a fairly limited ability to express my thought, emotions, feelings, and tell stories, so I imagine it is even more difficult for people who are less comfortable speaking Chinese than I am.
I already mentioned that my roommate, Wèi Dèngyǔ is of the Huí ethnicity, and that the guy living in the other room in our apartment is Japanese, I didn't mention Lǐ Xuān, the Japanese guys roommate (I actually don't know the Japanese guy's Chinese name! Ack!), at all. Lǐ Xuān and Dèngyǔ are both fourth year students (Seniors in college, as people normally say in America), and that means that they have no classes. Seriously. That means that half of the guys that live in our apartment have no classes, ever. Granted, they don't just slack around or anything. They both have huge theses to write, and they are working on various other things too. Lǐ Xuān, for instance, a big friendly guy with a big wild head of hair that makes me think he would be a great Asian equivalent to Larry (minus the receding hair line, of course), is teaching himself Dutch. When I asked him why, he replied because he wants to go to Holland. I gotta admit, that is a good reason to learn Dutch. My own roommate, Dèngyǔ, is majoring in city planning and control, and he, although not the tallest Chinese guy I have ever seen, is still pretty tall. Especially for a Chinese guys, who usually make me feel pretty average height (except for the young folk, who are getting taller nowadays, possibly due to a more Western diet, but I am just speculating here).
Most of the time that I spend in my room I am sitting at my desk studying, or sitting at my desk using my computer to waste time online because I am bored of studying. The work load is pretty heavy here. We are getting about thirty new words every day to learn, and although there are usually some that I already know from other classes, and some that are partially composed of characters that I am familiar with already, I still end up spending most of my time studying. In fact, I have a test tomorrow (we have a test every Friday), so I should probably be studying right now, but I have been studying on and off since about 1pm (it is 6 here now), so I am gonna get some food after this to get my mind out of this study mode. Not all is lost, however. The other day a wonderful man came to the CET program to give a presentation on his group's website, iKnow. Free, more enjoyable that doing my own flashcards, and some vocabulary are pretty easy to find associated images, audio, or sentences for. It also gets pretty scientific on learning science, with optimal times to review being recommended and all that, but I just think it is a nifty way to study new vocab. Mostly though, it is free. That a winner for me. I have been using it a lot the past day and a half, and I have already made vocab lists for the first two lessons of our text book, as well as a miscellaneous list of vocab I want to learn above and beyond the scope of class. It is nice because it makes it really convenient and fast to study, and it is focusing on visual recognition of the characters (and knowing the meaning of course) instead of my own personal writing of the characters. I enjoy this because I am fairly convinced of the very limited use in learning to write characters and I would rather focus on spoken communication.
So, I got something pretty big to talk about outside of my studies too: I officially have a Chinese girlfriend now. Yup, that's right. I had been contemplating my girl problem for a while (very recently I have felt like I had a lot more options/choices than was good for me), and when Mèng Lìlì and I went out together on Saturday (which just happened to be Valentine's Day, which I assure you was purely an accident) to see a goofy variety theater/vaudeville-sque show called Dirty Dancing: One Night in Beijing that some people I know were organizing, I guess some things just went right. She loved the show, saying that she would have never seen anything like that if I hadn't invited her, since generally Chinese people were not so open and wild as foreigners (her opinion, although I do agree with it to an extent). After the show we were both in high spirits, and she said she was hungry so we headed to a 24 hour restaurant that I knew and sat and talked while slurping up our noodles. (in retrospect she didn't eat much of her dish, and when I asked her why she responded in this riddle-like way that she was too hungry to eat. Maybe her wanting to go to a restaurant was just an excuse to spend some more time together?) We talked for a while, and eventually headed out. At this point it was maybe 11:00 or 11:30, which is really late for Beijing, 'cause the subways stop at 11:00, so other than the foreigner-heavy bar districts there is basically no-one out and about. We walked for a while, but it was clear that I had not worn enough clothes as I was basically shivering to death, so we decided it was best to part ways and go home. We found a nearby area with a bunch of taxis and parting ways time arrived. There was a nice goodnight kiss (which I wasn't really planning or expecting, but she seemed pleased enough with it), and I was pretty surprised when she so readily returned my kiss. Then I hopped into a cab to go my way, and she hopped into one to go hers. I was pretty damn pleased. On a personal level I was really happy to see the potential for a close relationship blossoming, and it was nice to kiss a girl again (I actually hadn't kissed a girl in more than six months now, which was the longest that I had gone without since I started kissing girls back in 11th grade!). On another level, there are a couple of guys from Kalamazoo I know who spent half of there time in China trying to get dates with Chinese girls, or trying to turn a one-time coffee dates into big relationship plans. I feel kind of happy that they didn't ever succeed, cause I am pretty sure it wouldn't have turned out that great for the girls (the guys I am thinking of both have American girlfriends outside of China). Not gonna lie: I am also happy that I beat them in their little "get a Chinese girl" game. However, I wasn't really sure what the kiss meant. So I decided to get together with her and have a "我们有什么关系？" ("what kind of relationship do we have?") talk.
We met at a local bar/music joint which I was familiar with, and listened to some Mongolian folk music. I saw a horse head fiddle, and throat singing. The throat singing was amazing! I would never have imagined that a guy so small, about the same size as me, could sing so deeply and so strongly. When we had enough of the music, Mèng Lìlì and I sat down a table and talked. We talked about lots of different things, coming back to the "us" subject every now and then only to meander away from it. I was again surprised by how open and liberal minded she is. At one point she leaned forward close to me and asked me if I thought T i_a.i-w./ia^n should be independent. (just so you know, I am spelling it like that so that Chinese government search engines don't easily find it and close down my blog, and possibly track down Mèng Lìlì, although I am sure I am being overly-cautious) That prompted me to talk about my views on independence, which started with me talking about the important of being able to make your own decisions, and ended with me "confessing" to her that I had been really influenced by anarchist though when I was in the US. She said her too, although I think that was more of agreement with a general radical mindset and dislike of the government rather than telling me that she had also read anarchist literature. After talking about the Dah-lie la.mma, his old home, and how Chinese viewed the history of Chinese going there and taking over, we eventually meandered back to the "us" topic. I could go on for another page or two on discussion and decisions, but I am just gonna cut to the chase: in the end she said okay. I didn't stop smiling for a while. ;) We went outside and walked for a bit, but it was about midnight or 12:30, and snow outside (Beijing's first snow in a few years was just the other day. It has been coming down lightly but steadily since then), even with my big winter coat, was a bit chilly. After walking for maybe 10 or 20 minutes, we grabbed a cab. I got off near my school, and she went on back to her home.
Outside of the regular feeling of happiness I get from having just gotten a girlfriend last night, I also feel that this is gonna be a really interesting cross-culture experience. So many things are different between Chinese dating culture and American dating culture. For instance traditionally, not much physical affection is displayed, the boy pays for everything (don't worry, she is pretty modern in that sense, so taking her our isn't gonna run my bank account dry. Besides, I am working, so I am making about 1000 kuai a week. When a NICE dinner costs 100 kuai (the most expensive Peking Duck restaurant in Beijing has duck at about 250 or 300)... well, I think I'm okay), "dates" involve going to the movies, going out to eat together, and lots of talking walks in parks, to which I will add my own "foreign flavor" with listening to bands (there is actually a decent amount of folk music in Beijing), going to theater and dance performances, and maybe a weekend trip or two out of Beijing... Okay, so maybe that part isn't so different from American dating culture as a whole, but this "dating outside of your school in a big city" different from me, since almost every girl I've dated/hung out with and likes has gone to the same school as me, so it has been convenient and easy to spend time together. Now I have a girls friend that lives in a different part of a huge city than I do, so it will actually take a bit of planning and effort whenever we want to get together. Furthermore, I am going to personally experience one of the side effects of China's enormous population: lack of private space. I do not have my own room, and she lives with her teacher, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was not just lots of going over to the other person's place to hang out, read, watch movies, or whatever. Most (umm, knowing China, I would say nearly all) of the time we spend together will be in public places, like theaters, parks, or restaurants. Not gonna lie: I can't wait for the weather to get warmer. That is gonna make taking walks a much more enjoyable past-time.
Interestingly enough, this is the first time I've told my parents (and who knows how many other people via this blog, but probably not too many) about a romantic relationship of mine since I told my dad about my "girlfriend" when I was in 8th grade. (I don't remember too clearly, but I think that was a "girlfriend" that I didn't even hold hands with) I suppose my parents both knew about Kasey the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years of college, but I by no means explicitly introduced her as my girlfriend. Actually, our we didn't really restrict our relationship with those kinds of labels. You should however, either ask myself or my dad how He and Kasey first met. I think it was a F**king HILARIOUS situation. Don't worry mom and dad: Mèng Lìlì is NOT my first relationship since 8th grade.
EDIT: Oops. I just remembered that they met Michelle when I was a Sophomore at Kalamazoo. That's kind of embarrassing: I forget about an ex-girlfriend. But on the bright side, she is one that I had a really hard time getting over, so maybe it is good that I forgot about her.
I also can't help but think what an interesting exercise in self-control this relationship will give me, in two ways: first with Mèng Lìlì herself, since I can't let things get intense or serious with her (I am again and again surprised by how open she was. She, like me, said she wants something very relaxed and low-pressure, accepted fully that I am leaving in the summer regardless of how good or bad our relationship is. And if you are concerned about the standard American definition of a "casual relationship", don't worry. We talked about that too and we aren't walking that path). But also it will be an excessive in self control with my having two lives: the CET on-campus life and my with-Mèng Lìlì off-campus life. I will readily acknowledge that there are three or four really cute girls that are CET students, a some of whom have really attractive and funky styles that I like, the kind of hippie/vegetarian/wearing bright colors with a fun-loving attitude. I know that if I wanted to I could try to become friends with them and see what kind of people they are (meaning: if I wanted or not to date them), so it feels kind of weird to have that kind of opportunity/chance/potential so close but to make myself ignore it. I don't have to by any means (not a single person at CET knows who Mèng Lìlì is), but I certainly don't want to be that kind of slimebag. Like I said before, this will be an interesting experiment in self-control for me, as well as an experiment my commitment to my morals.
I haven't posted any pictures for a while, but I promise that I soon as I get some (Mèng Lìlì and I will surely get them sooner or later. I is practically a right of passage for couples here) I will post them.
Yeah. This was a long one. In summary: the two biggest things in my life for the past 24 hours have been iKnow and my new Chinese girlfriend: Mèng Lìlì. I'm gonna alternatively study and look for tasty restaurants to go out with Mèng Lìlì to now. Bye bye!
Feb 13, 2009
Moved, Part 3: A new home, new people, and a new life
So, after my week of work at the elementary school was done and had bid Jamie a final farewell, I moved across town to my new dormitory. It is really more of an apartment complex, just with really small apartments, each only having two bedrooms and a bathroom. I think it is pretty nice though. The location is not as convenient as where I was recently living (it took me less than 15 minutes to get to the subway), but there are a decent number of shops and restaurants around, and with a bus ride of four or five stops I can get to the subway. My room is kind of big, the floor is made of really nice-looking wood, and I even have a little balcony area for hanging clothes up to dry and storing stuff. One thing I wish our apartment had was a common space, but we only have a little entryway/hallway between the bedrooms and the bathroom. It is like the suite I lived in my junior year, minus the common space and the two singles, with a big fancier appearance. Each of the bedrooms has two people, a CET student and a Chinese roommate. I just met my roommate today, and, like me, he seems like a very 好孩子 (a good kid, a kind of not drinking, not smoking, not often going out to bars to party kind of label). He is also 回族 (hui ethnicity), so he doesn't eat pork, and prefers to go to restaurants that don't serve pork (since a limited number of pots and pans used for cooking would cause his non-pork food to be contaminated by pork). He is not Muslim though, which is interesting. This means that his not eating of pork is not a religious thing, but rather a cultural thing. When we had a conversation about religion, he said he didn't really subscribe to any religion, but he believes in something. (I am paraphrasing, by the way. I don't know how to say 'subscribe' in Chinese) He has also expressed interest in coming to juggling club with me sometime, and having me teach him how to juggle three balls. Cool!
I am also very excited that the CET student in the other room of my apartment in NOT an American! He is Japanese. His English is heavily accented, and he has only been speaking English for two years. He goes to Soka University in California, which seems to stress all the points that Kalamazoo College likes to brag about (high number of students going on study abroad, high number of students pursuing PhDs and graduate school, international students at the school, focusing on creating global citizens), except that Soka seems to actually outperform K in all these respects. I am definitely gonna recommend that place to people. I am glad that there are going to be no bastions of American culture in our apartment. The Japanese guy also had two female friends that also go to Soka who are CET students here. They are all the same sect of Buddhist, so they get together regularly to chant (and maybe other stuff too, but I don't know yet. I've only been living with him for two days). It is nice to have a regular presence of other people in the place. It just makes it feel like more of a community.
Part way through this program's orientation, I have a few impressions. First, the uselessness of most of the orientation to me, since I have been in Beijing for several months already. I am not the only one either. About 8 or 10 students on this program ave already been studying in Beijing, anywhere from 1 to 5 months. Another feeling, because I have been in Beijing for a while already I have a level of comfort with the city (the transit, the food, the places) and the language that none of the new kids have. This means that there is a divide between us in terms of ability to communicate in Chinese (the same way that when I first arrives in Beijing I couldn't communicate very much), which may be hasslesome once the language pledge starts, which is Monday morning. Although I am sure that there will be many times when I have the urge to speak in English, I know that with my current ability in Chinese it will be easier for me than for many of the other students here to get by with just Chinese. A very cool thing I found out about this program though is that I can be reimbursed 70 kuai every week for cultural activities, which can include going to parks, temples, museums, and performances. I am totally gonna make the most of this, starting with getting mostly reimbursed for the 75 ticket for CIPA's Dirty Dancing this weekend.
An exciting thing happened the morning of my placement test (which determines which level of Chinese class I will be in). During the oral portion of the test, my tester was none other than my Chinese language teacher from fall semester: 周老师! (meaning: teacher Zhou). It was really exciting to see her again, so I was really relaxed for my oral test, just telling her about what I did during my vacation in the South, and about my current situation with Chinese girls.
I also bought a badminton set. Playing badminton is a really Chinese thing to do, and I think it is an easy excuse to spend time with people. I am also really excited about having my first set of slippers. It is pretty common in a Chinese home to take your shoes off at the door and put on a pair of slippers that are worn around the home. I was the first person to move into the apartment, so I decided set establish that as the norm. I am the only non-Asian though, so it may have ended up being the norm even if I hadn't!
I am bit worried about time during this next semester. My students at my English teaching job haven't gotten a hold of me yet, but once that starts up it will take a lot of my time. I may have to scale it back, depending on how intense the academic workload is here, and how much free time I want to have for other things. I want to go to juggling club every Monday, and I have not made a commitment to the aikido school I found, but it would be nice to be able to do that (although realistically speaking, I think it is pretty likely that I will not have the time to make a commitment to that). I also want to be able to have the free time to get together with the Chinese friends that I have made during my time here, as there are three of four people who I plan to get together with once they return to Beijing for classes, and whom I would like to see on a semi-regular basis from then on. I also don't want to spend loads of time studying characters, due both to the ability of doing more enjoyable activities in my free time and due to the (extremely) limited use of being able to write Chinese characters. Seriously. Even in Beijing, the capital city of China, it is pretty useless to be able to write characters. The ability to speak or understand the words spoken is of utmost importance, and being able to recognize them when written can be useful for some characters, but writing really never comes up.
I was planning of having a lot longer blog post, but I really can't think of anything else to write! I've updated you all on just about everything.
I am also very excited that the CET student in the other room of my apartment in NOT an American! He is Japanese. His English is heavily accented, and he has only been speaking English for two years. He goes to Soka University in California, which seems to stress all the points that Kalamazoo College likes to brag about (high number of students going on study abroad, high number of students pursuing PhDs and graduate school, international students at the school, focusing on creating global citizens), except that Soka seems to actually outperform K in all these respects. I am definitely gonna recommend that place to people. I am glad that there are going to be no bastions of American culture in our apartment. The Japanese guy also had two female friends that also go to Soka who are CET students here. They are all the same sect of Buddhist, so they get together regularly to chant (and maybe other stuff too, but I don't know yet. I've only been living with him for two days). It is nice to have a regular presence of other people in the place. It just makes it feel like more of a community.
Part way through this program's orientation, I have a few impressions. First, the uselessness of most of the orientation to me, since I have been in Beijing for several months already. I am not the only one either. About 8 or 10 students on this program ave already been studying in Beijing, anywhere from 1 to 5 months. Another feeling, because I have been in Beijing for a while already I have a level of comfort with the city (the transit, the food, the places) and the language that none of the new kids have. This means that there is a divide between us in terms of ability to communicate in Chinese (the same way that when I first arrives in Beijing I couldn't communicate very much), which may be hasslesome once the language pledge starts, which is Monday morning. Although I am sure that there will be many times when I have the urge to speak in English, I know that with my current ability in Chinese it will be easier for me than for many of the other students here to get by with just Chinese. A very cool thing I found out about this program though is that I can be reimbursed 70 kuai every week for cultural activities, which can include going to parks, temples, museums, and performances. I am totally gonna make the most of this, starting with getting mostly reimbursed for the 75 ticket for CIPA's Dirty Dancing this weekend.
An exciting thing happened the morning of my placement test (which determines which level of Chinese class I will be in). During the oral portion of the test, my tester was none other than my Chinese language teacher from fall semester: 周老师! (meaning: teacher Zhou). It was really exciting to see her again, so I was really relaxed for my oral test, just telling her about what I did during my vacation in the South, and about my current situation with Chinese girls.
I also bought a badminton set. Playing badminton is a really Chinese thing to do, and I think it is an easy excuse to spend time with people. I am also really excited about having my first set of slippers. It is pretty common in a Chinese home to take your shoes off at the door and put on a pair of slippers that are worn around the home. I was the first person to move into the apartment, so I decided set establish that as the norm. I am the only non-Asian though, so it may have ended up being the norm even if I hadn't!
I am bit worried about time during this next semester. My students at my English teaching job haven't gotten a hold of me yet, but once that starts up it will take a lot of my time. I may have to scale it back, depending on how intense the academic workload is here, and how much free time I want to have for other things. I want to go to juggling club every Monday, and I have not made a commitment to the aikido school I found, but it would be nice to be able to do that (although realistically speaking, I think it is pretty likely that I will not have the time to make a commitment to that). I also want to be able to have the free time to get together with the Chinese friends that I have made during my time here, as there are three of four people who I plan to get together with once they return to Beijing for classes, and whom I would like to see on a semi-regular basis from then on. I also don't want to spend loads of time studying characters, due both to the ability of doing more enjoyable activities in my free time and due to the (extremely) limited use of being able to write Chinese characters. Seriously. Even in Beijing, the capital city of China, it is pretty useless to be able to write characters. The ability to speak or understand the words spoken is of utmost importance, and being able to recognize them when written can be useful for some characters, but writing really never comes up.
I was planning of having a lot longer blog post, but I really can't think of anything else to write! I've updated you all on just about everything.
Feb 11, 2009
Moved, Part 2: Jobs and Three Girls
I'm not gonna lie. The majority of my first week at my new dorm (located conveniently near the most North West stop of subway line 2) was spent watching movies and playing video games that I had downloaded. I had big plans to read a lot of academic papers that I had downloaded from Jstor, but I never got around to reading more than a few short ones. Those video games were damn enjoyable though, and I had a great time getting involved in the plots and intrigues of those imaginary worlds. However, after a week of that comfortable couch potato lifestyle, it was time to do things again. During that week I had started working on some new juggling tricks, as well as balancing a ball on my head. I went to the Temple of Heaven one afternoon to see a re-enactment of a blessing ceremony. This is the ceremony that the emperor of China used to do each year after the spring festival, and it would be done at each the four most important temples in Beijing, Temple of Heaven, Earth, Sun, and Moon. The temple of Earth and Heaven are a lot more famous though, and are bigger tourist spots than the temple of Earth or the moon are. I found the event online, and finding out that it was happening in about an hour, I hurriedly hopped on the subway to head down to the Temple of Heaven and take a took. I had never been to the Temple of Heaven before, and it was on my list of places that I wanted to visit anyway, so I was pretty excited to finally be there. Most of my time there was taken up playing though, because what did I find other than a middle aged Chinese man juggling five balls! He was excited to meet a foreigner that could juggle, and the two of us quickly gathered a crowd. He encouraged me to try a few new tricks, and I quickly discovered that I was a lot closer to getting a 3 ball flash(one of the primary requirements for juggling five balls), three in one hand, and a three ball shower. I was very pleased with this. He even gave me three Russian style balls (they have a fluid or sand inside them, so that the weight is always in the bottom section of the ball).
I hung out with Jamie a lot during this time between semesters, seeing him every day or every other day. After telling me about an American that he had been in contact with who ran an English immersion school, Jamie and I ended up getting jobs! My other English teaching job was on pause, since the students were all out of Beijing for the holidays, so my plan to stay in Beijing and earn cash for the springtime was so far a total bust. This opportunity was perfect timing too, since I was done with my video games and with nothing to do for a week. It was a one week job, but full time, from 8am to 4pm. I had a classroom of thirteen Chinese first graders, whose English was worse than my Chinese (this was a first, since usually Chinese people who study English can say lots more in my language than I can in theirs). I was expecting to be a teacher's assistant, but the teacher of my classroom was meeting with student's parents all day long, so I ended up teaching most of the class. There were a few troublemakers, and a lot of what I said wasn't understood (no matter how slowly or clearly I speak, when somebody just doesn't know a word there is nothing more to be done), but it was a great experience. It is awesome to earn a week's work worth of money, and although my throat is very hoarse from speaking so loudly over the noise of the class for the past week, it was fun to have my job be to play with kids at recess. Some of those kids are absolutely adorable! Jamie and I totally wanted to adopt some of them, and my class had a couple of really cute little 7 and 8 year olds too. I learned about disciplining as a teacher, and it was interesting to think about the power relations between teacher and student as well. Since I was unable (or maybe unwilling, I don't know what the rules are in China) to use physical force to make the students obey, the only power I had over the students was what they gave me. I could tell them to stand up or sit down, or to recite a particular passage, but if they were to have adamantly refused to obey my orders then I could have done nothing to force them. It was also really interesting to see students that were at such a beginning stage of language learning, since most of the people I interact with who can speak English have a vocabulary at least as large as my Chinese vocabulary, and usually much larger. Of course, there were other benefits to the job too. Since I just at what the kids ate, I got free lunches, not to mention two snack times each day (and being the teacher gave me the privilege of eating all the leftover snacks), but about two hours of playing outside each day (there was about half an hour after each snack time and an hour after lunch). I played a lot of badminton with the kids, as well as tag as well the ever-popular "pick up the kid and spin him/her in a circle so s/he flies like an airplane." Jamie took a lot of photos, and there are some really great ones in there, but I don't have them yet. Knowing how busy he will be at his program in Haerbin it may be a while until I get them. The assistant teacher that was in my room, Maggie, was pretty nice too, and, after the meddling of the friendly Jamaican fellow who also worked there, we eventually exchanged phone numbers. That however, is the beginning of another section.
Maggie is nice, fun, is a third year student in college like I am, and is a Business English major (although I have to say that she makes a lot of grammatical errors and has pretty poor pronunciation for being a Business English major). She also won the badminton tournament in her department, did rhythmic gymnastics when she was little, and does both yoga and pole dancing (CULTURAL NOTE: Pole dancing has a really sexual connotation in the US. It's not like that in China. Pole dancing in China is just seen as another way to keep fit, like a pilates class or running on a treadmill). The fact that she is doing something to stay physically active is pretty attractive, since as a very physically active person myself that is something that I am drawn too. Furthermore, the fact that she does pole dancing is really hot. Even though it doesn't have erotic connotations in Chinese culture, I am a Westerner viewing it through a half-east/half-west lens, so I suppose that makes in 50% sexy. Maggie, however, is only one of them. Meng Lili is a 23 year old graduate student that I met when I was volunteering for the China Center for Desertification Control during the fall. She was actually my main contact person, and barring my first two visits to the college, she was the only person I ever saw or interacted with while I volunteered. After the second week, she asked me to come to her apartment instead of meeting her at Agricultural University, since it was more convenient for her. Her place is closer to my college than Agricultural University, so I gave no objection. She shared the apartment with her teacher and friend, whom I met twice. I was even invited to stay for dinner once. Although I never did anything but work on my volunteer assignment (sort of prepping a book for translation, deciding which parts were important enough to translate) over time I started to view Meng Lili as pretty cute, and I think I may have even flirted with her a bit. Either way, after my fall semester ended and I traveled through the south, when I returned to Beijing Lili sent me a text saying that we should get together so that I could tell her about my travels. We had a hot pot together, and it was one of the most enjoyable dinners I have ever had. We talked about so many different things, and I felt great the whole time. The food was good, seeing Lili and spending time with her was good, we both were smiling the whole time, and I told of my adventures in the South and made lots of funny jokes (probably with poor grammar and terrible pronunciation, but hey! I'm still learning.) It wasn't until then that I really started to think of Lili in a romantic way. Actually, the last time we hung out we were walking down a hutong we linked arms (I honestly don't remember who initiated that or how it happened) and then she asked me "这是什么关系?" (what kind of a relationship/meaning is this?) and I replied "我还没决定" (I haven't decided yet). I am seeing her again this Saturday though, and I am taking her to see the CIPA's (a collaboration of many arts groups in Beijing. Jamie and Alana and I were involved in the Death Prom that they did during the fall.) special Beijing version of Dirty Dancing. But of course, I haven't mentioned Fan Rong yet. I met Fan Rong at the Beijing Juggling Club, and maybe she is just the kind of girl that is really friendly, but she always seems to smile to me, talk to me a lot, and gives nice hugs. At about 27 she is much older than me, but that means a lot less to me here in Beijing then it would in the US, since age is difficult to tell as a foreigner to the culture, so she appears to be in her early twenties. To serve as examples of this cross-cultural age judging difficulty, it is easy for myself and my American classmates to pass ourselves off as twenty somethings. Also, look at some pictures on Chinese pop stars like Jay Chou or 李宇春 and try to guess their age. Anyway, Ran Rong is smart, fun, energetic, and very friendly. I also cannot deny that the outfit she wore for yuánxiāo jié (元宵节, the last day of the Chinese new year) was really attractive. However, I am the least sure of her, since her playful style makes me suspect that any romantic attraction I perceive from her is merely a mis-perception on my part. Although Fan Rong is definitely the most physically affectionate and provocative of the three, Maggie is the one whom I know the most about how she feels (and she is my age, which doesn't make too much of a difference, but I feel as though is something I should make note of), where as I am unsure about how Meng Lili feels. Of course, since I will see her again this weekend I may find out more about that situation fairly soon. Regardless, this isn't something I am going to rush into, and it is something I will have to exert a lot of caution with if there will be anything at all.
In China, being somebody's boyfriend involved a lot more holding of hands and talking walks in the parks than it does in America, and there are huge differences in the youth and sex culture too, namely that Chinese people don't often have sex before marriage (although this trend is changing). Although I can't point to any hard facts, I have the impression that boyfriends and girlfriend in China do a lot less kissing, making out, and generally those physically passionate activities that we American youth seem to enjoy so much. Relationships with foreigners can be tricky things too. By our nature, we are fleeting and temporary, so I cannot allow any kind of childish fantasies about bringing her back to America with me, and need to make 100% sure she understands that I am leaving come summertime (unless of course I have that Walt Disney style greatest love in a hundred years kind of thing, but I find that pretty unlikely, don't you?). College students, if they are found to be having sexual relations with a foreigner, can be kicked out of college, suffer rejection and harassment from peers and family, and I hear they can even be arrested for prostitution. Also, a Chinese friend told me that having sex with a Chinese girl if you are not going to marry her will basically ruin her life, since it will make it so much harder for her to find a husband in the future. Apparently Chinese men only want to marry virgins. I am sure that with the opening of the economy and the liberalizing of the culture this is changing, but it is still a risk that I do not plan on taking.
For those you who are reading this and worrying (my mother among your ranks, I am sure), don't. If any romantic relationships happen at all between myself and Chinese girls during my time here, I am NOT going hastily rush into things. I am NOT going to violate cultural (and in my opinion, moral) boundaries by sleeping with a Chinese girl, particularly since I have no intention of getting married to any Chinese girl, or any girl at all, at this point of my life. If I were to have a relationship, it would be a lot of holding hands, photos with the peace sign (very popular in China), going out to dinner together, and paying badminton (if it weren't for ping pong, badminton might very well be the national sport. As a recreational activity, it is even more popular than tai chi).
I had to say goodbye to Jamie the other day. He is leaving for Haerbin, where he will spend his spring semester, while I will be staying in Beijing for the springtime. It was kind of sad. Okay, fine, it was really sad. Jamie is the closest friend I have had in China, and our mutual desire to really learn the language and make Chinese friends has caused us to be even closer. I'll miss him.
I watched Hello, Dolly! recently, and decided that it was really good. Of course, with a dancing genius like Gene Kelly, the star of Singing in the Rain, directing it, how could one expect anything else? To anyone that hasn't seen it, I really recommend it. Funny characters, clever dialogue, and absolutely fantastic dancing. Every time I watch something like that it makes me wish that I chose a college with a dance program. I will have to start taking dance classes again eventually, otherwise I am just gonna be living with a big chunk of regret from not having pursued something with I enjoy. I have also resumed my listening of War and Peace. I am near the end of book 9. I'm not sure how many books there are, but I love the cast of characters so far, although the Russian names are so foreign to me that I have trouble keeping some of the less central characters strait much of the time. War and Peace is just solidifying my respect and appreciation for Leo Tolstoy though.
I am have been typing for so long that my fingers are sore. Next time I will write about my new home, and what is the start of my new life.
I hung out with Jamie a lot during this time between semesters, seeing him every day or every other day. After telling me about an American that he had been in contact with who ran an English immersion school, Jamie and I ended up getting jobs! My other English teaching job was on pause, since the students were all out of Beijing for the holidays, so my plan to stay in Beijing and earn cash for the springtime was so far a total bust. This opportunity was perfect timing too, since I was done with my video games and with nothing to do for a week. It was a one week job, but full time, from 8am to 4pm. I had a classroom of thirteen Chinese first graders, whose English was worse than my Chinese (this was a first, since usually Chinese people who study English can say lots more in my language than I can in theirs). I was expecting to be a teacher's assistant, but the teacher of my classroom was meeting with student's parents all day long, so I ended up teaching most of the class. There were a few troublemakers, and a lot of what I said wasn't understood (no matter how slowly or clearly I speak, when somebody just doesn't know a word there is nothing more to be done), but it was a great experience. It is awesome to earn a week's work worth of money, and although my throat is very hoarse from speaking so loudly over the noise of the class for the past week, it was fun to have my job be to play with kids at recess. Some of those kids are absolutely adorable! Jamie and I totally wanted to adopt some of them, and my class had a couple of really cute little 7 and 8 year olds too. I learned about disciplining as a teacher, and it was interesting to think about the power relations between teacher and student as well. Since I was unable (or maybe unwilling, I don't know what the rules are in China) to use physical force to make the students obey, the only power I had over the students was what they gave me. I could tell them to stand up or sit down, or to recite a particular passage, but if they were to have adamantly refused to obey my orders then I could have done nothing to force them. It was also really interesting to see students that were at such a beginning stage of language learning, since most of the people I interact with who can speak English have a vocabulary at least as large as my Chinese vocabulary, and usually much larger. Of course, there were other benefits to the job too. Since I just at what the kids ate, I got free lunches, not to mention two snack times each day (and being the teacher gave me the privilege of eating all the leftover snacks), but about two hours of playing outside each day (there was about half an hour after each snack time and an hour after lunch). I played a lot of badminton with the kids, as well as tag as well the ever-popular "pick up the kid and spin him/her in a circle so s/he flies like an airplane." Jamie took a lot of photos, and there are some really great ones in there, but I don't have them yet. Knowing how busy he will be at his program in Haerbin it may be a while until I get them. The assistant teacher that was in my room, Maggie, was pretty nice too, and, after the meddling of the friendly Jamaican fellow who also worked there, we eventually exchanged phone numbers. That however, is the beginning of another section.
Maggie is nice, fun, is a third year student in college like I am, and is a Business English major (although I have to say that she makes a lot of grammatical errors and has pretty poor pronunciation for being a Business English major). She also won the badminton tournament in her department, did rhythmic gymnastics when she was little, and does both yoga and pole dancing (CULTURAL NOTE: Pole dancing has a really sexual connotation in the US. It's not like that in China. Pole dancing in China is just seen as another way to keep fit, like a pilates class or running on a treadmill). The fact that she is doing something to stay physically active is pretty attractive, since as a very physically active person myself that is something that I am drawn too. Furthermore, the fact that she does pole dancing is really hot. Even though it doesn't have erotic connotations in Chinese culture, I am a Westerner viewing it through a half-east/half-west lens, so I suppose that makes in 50% sexy. Maggie, however, is only one of them. Meng Lili is a 23 year old graduate student that I met when I was volunteering for the China Center for Desertification Control during the fall. She was actually my main contact person, and barring my first two visits to the college, she was the only person I ever saw or interacted with while I volunteered. After the second week, she asked me to come to her apartment instead of meeting her at Agricultural University, since it was more convenient for her. Her place is closer to my college than Agricultural University, so I gave no objection. She shared the apartment with her teacher and friend, whom I met twice. I was even invited to stay for dinner once. Although I never did anything but work on my volunteer assignment (sort of prepping a book for translation, deciding which parts were important enough to translate) over time I started to view Meng Lili as pretty cute, and I think I may have even flirted with her a bit. Either way, after my fall semester ended and I traveled through the south, when I returned to Beijing Lili sent me a text saying that we should get together so that I could tell her about my travels. We had a hot pot together, and it was one of the most enjoyable dinners I have ever had. We talked about so many different things, and I felt great the whole time. The food was good, seeing Lili and spending time with her was good, we both were smiling the whole time, and I told of my adventures in the South and made lots of funny jokes (probably with poor grammar and terrible pronunciation, but hey! I'm still learning.) It wasn't until then that I really started to think of Lili in a romantic way. Actually, the last time we hung out we were walking down a hutong we linked arms (I honestly don't remember who initiated that or how it happened) and then she asked me "这是什么关系?" (what kind of a relationship/meaning is this?) and I replied "我还没决定" (I haven't decided yet). I am seeing her again this Saturday though, and I am taking her to see the CIPA's (a collaboration of many arts groups in Beijing. Jamie and Alana and I were involved in the Death Prom that they did during the fall.) special Beijing version of Dirty Dancing. But of course, I haven't mentioned Fan Rong yet. I met Fan Rong at the Beijing Juggling Club, and maybe she is just the kind of girl that is really friendly, but she always seems to smile to me, talk to me a lot, and gives nice hugs. At about 27 she is much older than me, but that means a lot less to me here in Beijing then it would in the US, since age is difficult to tell as a foreigner to the culture, so she appears to be in her early twenties. To serve as examples of this cross-cultural age judging difficulty, it is easy for myself and my American classmates to pass ourselves off as twenty somethings. Also, look at some pictures on Chinese pop stars like Jay Chou or 李宇春 and try to guess their age. Anyway, Ran Rong is smart, fun, energetic, and very friendly. I also cannot deny that the outfit she wore for yuánxiāo jié (元宵节, the last day of the Chinese new year) was really attractive. However, I am the least sure of her, since her playful style makes me suspect that any romantic attraction I perceive from her is merely a mis-perception on my part. Although Fan Rong is definitely the most physically affectionate and provocative of the three, Maggie is the one whom I know the most about how she feels (and she is my age, which doesn't make too much of a difference, but I feel as though is something I should make note of), where as I am unsure about how Meng Lili feels. Of course, since I will see her again this weekend I may find out more about that situation fairly soon. Regardless, this isn't something I am going to rush into, and it is something I will have to exert a lot of caution with if there will be anything at all.
In China, being somebody's boyfriend involved a lot more holding of hands and talking walks in the parks than it does in America, and there are huge differences in the youth and sex culture too, namely that Chinese people don't often have sex before marriage (although this trend is changing). Although I can't point to any hard facts, I have the impression that boyfriends and girlfriend in China do a lot less kissing, making out, and generally those physically passionate activities that we American youth seem to enjoy so much. Relationships with foreigners can be tricky things too. By our nature, we are fleeting and temporary, so I cannot allow any kind of childish fantasies about bringing her back to America with me, and need to make 100% sure she understands that I am leaving come summertime (unless of course I have that Walt Disney style greatest love in a hundred years kind of thing, but I find that pretty unlikely, don't you?). College students, if they are found to be having sexual relations with a foreigner, can be kicked out of college, suffer rejection and harassment from peers and family, and I hear they can even be arrested for prostitution. Also, a Chinese friend told me that having sex with a Chinese girl if you are not going to marry her will basically ruin her life, since it will make it so much harder for her to find a husband in the future. Apparently Chinese men only want to marry virgins. I am sure that with the opening of the economy and the liberalizing of the culture this is changing, but it is still a risk that I do not plan on taking.
For those you who are reading this and worrying (my mother among your ranks, I am sure), don't. If any romantic relationships happen at all between myself and Chinese girls during my time here, I am NOT going hastily rush into things. I am NOT going to violate cultural (and in my opinion, moral) boundaries by sleeping with a Chinese girl, particularly since I have no intention of getting married to any Chinese girl, or any girl at all, at this point of my life. If I were to have a relationship, it would be a lot of holding hands, photos with the peace sign (very popular in China), going out to dinner together, and paying badminton (if it weren't for ping pong, badminton might very well be the national sport. As a recreational activity, it is even more popular than tai chi).
I had to say goodbye to Jamie the other day. He is leaving for Haerbin, where he will spend his spring semester, while I will be staying in Beijing for the springtime. It was kind of sad. Okay, fine, it was really sad. Jamie is the closest friend I have had in China, and our mutual desire to really learn the language and make Chinese friends has caused us to be even closer. I'll miss him.
I watched Hello, Dolly! recently, and decided that it was really good. Of course, with a dancing genius like Gene Kelly, the star of Singing in the Rain, directing it, how could one expect anything else? To anyone that hasn't seen it, I really recommend it. Funny characters, clever dialogue, and absolutely fantastic dancing. Every time I watch something like that it makes me wish that I chose a college with a dance program. I will have to start taking dance classes again eventually, otherwise I am just gonna be living with a big chunk of regret from not having pursued something with I enjoy. I have also resumed my listening of War and Peace. I am near the end of book 9. I'm not sure how many books there are, but I love the cast of characters so far, although the Russian names are so foreign to me that I have trouble keeping some of the less central characters strait much of the time. War and Peace is just solidifying my respect and appreciation for Leo Tolstoy though.
I am have been typing for so long that my fingers are sore. Next time I will write about my new home, and what is the start of my new life.
Moved, Part 1: Video Games and Fireworks
All my stuff has been moved, my life has been re-arranged a bit, and I am settled into a new place, ready to start another chapter of my life. It may sound a bit melodramatic, but it is gonna be pretty different from here on out. Starting on Monday I will have the language pledge, which means that I am not supposed to speak English for the next four months. But I suppose I should back up a bit. When we last left our hero...
I was feeling a pretty sick, lonely and depressed about ICRP(Integrative Cultural Research Project) time, but as I was writing the paper itself I started to feel a hell of a lot better. This was mostly due to the feeling the I would soon be completely free, with no work, no responsibilities, and nothing but my own will and desires dictating how I should spend my time. During my Sophomore year I gained the habit of being organized enough to always finish my papers a few days before the due date, and it has served me well in China, allowing my the time to sleep, watch movies, and go out into the city while my classmates write their papers. I would love to deny it, but to be honest I got really into some video games one on Download.com, a really fun game which, according to the creator, was made with aesthetics, characters, and plot as a focus. Freeware, with a well-crafted plot? I don't care too much about graphics, which is good since it was made in an old-school SNES style. Ara Fell 2k3 sounded right up my ally. And boy was it. It got me on a bit of a thing, so for the next couple weeks I downloaded several games from an online community called RPG Revolution. These games were all home-made, mostly by individuals but sometimes by small groups of people. Using a series of programs called RPG Makers, these people use a standard set of graphics, music, fonts, and the like to create their own video games. Of course, many people import their own graphics, fonts, and music, and many write their own kinds of programs so make more unique and custom game. I ended up downloading and playing about half a dozen games. Due to the nature of them (homemade, often by a single person) they were fairly short, usually under ten hours. I severely enjoyed Ara Fell, the Legend of the Philosopher's Stone, The Way (a game which is actually in 6 parts. The first is nothing special, but the plot, intrigue, and development really take off in Episode 2), A Blurred Line, and Sunset over Imdahl. I would recommend these in the highest degree to all of my friends that enjoy video games, especially those that enjoy old-school SNES style games.
After turning in my ICRP, the following weekend was the Chinese new year, also called the spring festival (春节, chun1 jie2). Isaac, Stephanie, Steph's boyfriend, and myself went to 张强's house (Zhang Qiang, she was Stephanie's roommate during the fall) to celebrate the new year. We ate tasty food, gave them a bottle of booze, watched the new year's show on CCTV (there were some great acts!) and set off fireworks. For those of you who don't know, Chinese new year is REALLY big on fire works. Stepping outside of 张强's family's apartment around midnight to light the fireworks sounded like stepping into a war zone. More than one joke was made about the Arab-Israeli conflict and Gaza, or about making a video mocking a military invasion of Beijing. I can't honestly say that the sky was lit up as bright as day, but I can truthfully tell you that no matter what direction I turned I say displays of fireworks, from the little cracklers (one of my least favorite, as they are loud and annoying without producing any pretty lights) to the big flower explosions high in the sky. With a city of 16 million people, each of whom is going to light up a few fireworks, that ends up making a pretty brilliant show. It was really an amazing experience, to be in a place to loud, with all the lights, with all the giddy joy that came rushing over me as I stepped outside and fully entered the celebration of a culture so far away from the one which I was born in. We left 张强's family's apartment a little after one in the morning (Do you know how hard it is to find a taxi at one in the morning on the night of Chinese new year? For a while I was worried that we were gonna have to walk across the city to get back to our dormitory!). Arriving home around 2:30 am or so, and hanging our with some people until 3:30 or so, I figured that I might as well just stay up until 8 or 9 when I planned to move to my new dormitory. So I did. I watched a movie, played one of my video games, and even Skype chatted with a friend from Michigan! It had always been so hard to arrange skype chatting because of the time difference, but I solved that problem by not sleeping that night! Between that and packing my bags, staying up the whole night was no problem, especially since it was already four in the morning by the time I decided to do it. Moving into my new place was a bit hasslesome (my name wasn't on the list, so I had to call around and get somebody to come and talk to the landlord), but I was glad that I did it early in the morning when I did, because that afternoon I went with most of the other Kalamazoo kids to the airport to bid them goodbye. All the K students except for Stephanie, Jamie, and myself left China that day.
That is enough for now. I would love to have pictures, but they are all on other people's cameras, and most haven't sent them to me yet. In time I hope to have them though. I am really tired, so more to come soon... hopefully.
I was feeling a pretty sick, lonely and depressed about ICRP(Integrative Cultural Research Project) time, but as I was writing the paper itself I started to feel a hell of a lot better. This was mostly due to the feeling the I would soon be completely free, with no work, no responsibilities, and nothing but my own will and desires dictating how I should spend my time. During my Sophomore year I gained the habit of being organized enough to always finish my papers a few days before the due date, and it has served me well in China, allowing my the time to sleep, watch movies, and go out into the city while my classmates write their papers. I would love to deny it, but to be honest I got really into some video games one on Download.com, a really fun game which, according to the creator, was made with aesthetics, characters, and plot as a focus. Freeware, with a well-crafted plot? I don't care too much about graphics, which is good since it was made in an old-school SNES style. Ara Fell 2k3 sounded right up my ally. And boy was it. It got me on a bit of a thing, so for the next couple weeks I downloaded several games from an online community called RPG Revolution. These games were all home-made, mostly by individuals but sometimes by small groups of people. Using a series of programs called RPG Makers, these people use a standard set of graphics, music, fonts, and the like to create their own video games. Of course, many people import their own graphics, fonts, and music, and many write their own kinds of programs so make more unique and custom game. I ended up downloading and playing about half a dozen games. Due to the nature of them (homemade, often by a single person) they were fairly short, usually under ten hours. I severely enjoyed Ara Fell, the Legend of the Philosopher's Stone, The Way (a game which is actually in 6 parts. The first is nothing special, but the plot, intrigue, and development really take off in Episode 2), A Blurred Line, and Sunset over Imdahl. I would recommend these in the highest degree to all of my friends that enjoy video games, especially those that enjoy old-school SNES style games.
After turning in my ICRP, the following weekend was the Chinese new year, also called the spring festival (春节, chun1 jie2). Isaac, Stephanie, Steph's boyfriend, and myself went to 张强's house (Zhang Qiang, she was Stephanie's roommate during the fall) to celebrate the new year. We ate tasty food, gave them a bottle of booze, watched the new year's show on CCTV (there were some great acts!) and set off fireworks. For those of you who don't know, Chinese new year is REALLY big on fire works. Stepping outside of 张强's family's apartment around midnight to light the fireworks sounded like stepping into a war zone. More than one joke was made about the Arab-Israeli conflict and Gaza, or about making a video mocking a military invasion of Beijing. I can't honestly say that the sky was lit up as bright as day, but I can truthfully tell you that no matter what direction I turned I say displays of fireworks, from the little cracklers (one of my least favorite, as they are loud and annoying without producing any pretty lights) to the big flower explosions high in the sky. With a city of 16 million people, each of whom is going to light up a few fireworks, that ends up making a pretty brilliant show. It was really an amazing experience, to be in a place to loud, with all the lights, with all the giddy joy that came rushing over me as I stepped outside and fully entered the celebration of a culture so far away from the one which I was born in. We left 张强's family's apartment a little after one in the morning (Do you know how hard it is to find a taxi at one in the morning on the night of Chinese new year? For a while I was worried that we were gonna have to walk across the city to get back to our dormitory!). Arriving home around 2:30 am or so, and hanging our with some people until 3:30 or so, I figured that I might as well just stay up until 8 or 9 when I planned to move to my new dormitory. So I did. I watched a movie, played one of my video games, and even Skype chatted with a friend from Michigan! It had always been so hard to arrange skype chatting because of the time difference, but I solved that problem by not sleeping that night! Between that and packing my bags, staying up the whole night was no problem, especially since it was already four in the morning by the time I decided to do it. Moving into my new place was a bit hasslesome (my name wasn't on the list, so I had to call around and get somebody to come and talk to the landlord), but I was glad that I did it early in the morning when I did, because that afternoon I went with most of the other Kalamazoo kids to the airport to bid them goodbye. All the K students except for Stephanie, Jamie, and myself left China that day.
That is enough for now. I would love to have pictures, but they are all on other people's cameras, and most haven't sent them to me yet. In time I hope to have them though. I am really tired, so more to come soon... hopefully.
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