I have been a bit down lately, due to being sick, busy, and feeling alienated, but things are looking up. First, I decided that I am gonna do my ICRP on the INBAR-related bamboo stuff, not the boring public transit stuff. I am also gonna go to a meeting of Beijing's Green Drinks this Tuesday, which I can potentially use as fodder for writing my ICRP (since it is environmental-related). I am also hoping to go to a local aikido place on Wednesday. I spent a lot of my resources early in fall quarter looking for martial arts in Beijing, but this is should actually pan out. I know this because I was referenced there by another CET student's roommate, so this place actually exists, and is somewhat close as well. It is actually right on the subway, only a few stops away from my dorm.
When the other K students leave Beijing, I'm also gonna be picking up a few more English students, so that should bring my weekly income up to a bit more than 1,000 kuai a week (paid on the 1st and 15th of every month). That will give me plenty to eat more, play more, to recreationally buy clothing and souvenirs, as well as save up money for more travel in the future. My hope is to earn enough to make up for what I spent during fall semester, but I also don't want my life to be dominated by teaching English spring quarter, so I might scale it back a bit.
There will be a new batch of people coming soon too. With the advent of my spring semester I will meet another two dozen students, which will give me new opportunities to meet people and make friends. I'd like to spend a bit more time with people spring quarter than I did fall quarter. But of course, that depends on what kind of people they are and if we have common interests. If they just want to go and drink all the time, I may very well be spending a lot of time alone again. But if that is the case, then I can just work and save money! :) Hopefully I'll find some people to click with though.
Jan 12, 2009
Jan 9, 2009
Disconected from other K students
NOTE: Please don't mis-interpret my journaling. This is meant to be observational, not judgmental.
So, I definitely feel distanced from the other students here in terms of schedule since most of them go to bed sometime between midnight and 7am. My roommate went to bed shortly before I got up this morning.
I also feel distanced from them in terms of motivations and interests though. It feels weird to say that I have spiritually developed, but I have been focusing a bit of the Tolstoy-ish/Gandhi-ish 'how to live a good life, how to be a good person, how to do the right thing' kind of questions. This means I don't find as many jokes funny, since I see now that a lot of them are made at the expense of others. I also am watching my own words and action, and, inspired by yogic practices, and am both noticing when others say things which are unnecessary, cruel, or untrue (which I am finding is surprisingly often, and is very annoying, to just hear people talk when they have nothing to say), and I am noticing when I myself say things that are unnecessary, cruel, or untrue. Paying attention to this really makes me realize how little it is necessary to say. I often wonder, if I was not in the room, would my roommate still make the comments or noises he does about his video games? They are not comments directed at me, but what meaning can he have in making these sounds other than to catch my attention and attract my inquiry? This brings me to another point: purpose. So much of what is done seems to be wasted energy, action without purpose. I see this as potentially serving both for a justification for non-violence (since I see retribution as a waste of energy {after accidentally stepping on someone's shoe on the bus the other morning I was hit in the shoulder. However, I was hit after I had already stepped off the shoe. So, what reason did that person have to hit me?}), and a good reason to not say things with no meaning.
My desire to be productive, to be active, and to learn seems to be much stronger than those around me. A lot of my peers play video games, go out drinking, and... well, I honestly don't know what they do with a lot of their time. I usually try to focus on things that have more benefit than immediate pleasure or satisfaction. I want things that will add to my knowledge, or improve me as a person. I hardly ever enjoy just sitting in a room with someone. It usually feels like a waste of time. If it is a good friend of mine then I will spend that time with them, or if I have a good conversation with someone then it feels good, but without a good conversation or a good friend in the equation, I feel like my time would be better spent doing something else. So many of the times I have spent with other K students here people here have just been filled with empty talk. No real information and been exchanged, no growth or change has happened, and much talk has been about nothing. I often find myself not enjoying these kinds of social situations. Many of the people here I have never has a real conversation with, so I really don't know who they are beyond their age, sex, name, and what I find out through casual interaction and observation. I do try, though. Every time I find myself alone with someone I try to learn why they are, what they like, what kind of person the are and what kind they want to be.
I would love to socialize more, but I really don't find myself 'clicking' with the people here very often. The differences of alcohol and sleeping patterns are a big factor, I think. I really do miss having more people around (funny thing to say in a city of 15 million, even with the language barrier). This often leaves me to be alone. For recreation, when I am alone I enjoy reading books (good or classic literature or a non-fiction work), watching documentaries (or good fiction film, something which, as I grow older, I am discovering is almost unknown to my age group), or, best of all, learning a new skill or practicing and improving current skills. I learned martial arts, juggling, and some gymnastics when I was in the US, but doing these things along is not very enjoyable compared to practicing them with a dedicated community. Skill-learning alone is something that gets boring or discouraging fairly quickly, and I don't know of an easy-access community for me to join. (I've already searched for martial arts, juggling, and gymnastics all over the city) With no classes available right now (I'd love to listen to some good lectures), and a severe limitation on English-language books my ability to learn is pretty damn hindered. I really want to read The End of Poverty and Small is Beautiful, which introduces the concept of 'Buddhist economics', or some Dalai Lama books, but they are not available in bookstores in China, and to buy them online and have them sent to China would be so expensive. I could take another two week vacation for that much money. Seriously, the exchange rate and purchasing power over here is that much different.
Yeah, with my aversion to video games and just sitting around and 'spending time with people' without not actively doing anything, I feel pretty cut off from most of the K students.
But lets focus on some positive things too. I don't want you to think that I am just dying over here. Granted, this week has had me feeling pretty, sick and isolated, but I am always pleased to lie down in bed in the evening. Why? Tolstoy. I am still listening to the audio book of War and Peace, and even with the slow progress of only a few chapters each night, it is still very enjoyable. Also, my time in front of the computer at INBAR has given me an easy excuse to read lots of news online. My Poly Sci teacher from Kalamazoo would be so proud. Although the internet connection is WAY too slow for me to get access to the Democracy Now videos, I find the Christian Science Monitor to be a really good paper, and that combined with the good old NY Times is serving me pretty well. I am considering adding the Washington post and The Economist to my list of regularly read news though, just to round it out a bit. Other good things? Without Chinese classes regularly, and with all the K kids speaking English all the time I feel as though my Chinese is worse than it was two weeks ago. To counter this I've decided to start learning a new word or two every day. Since starting at INBAR I've learned 'to shake hands', 'to hold hands', 'bones', 'deposit', and 'to save money'. It is not much, especially compared to what I would learn if I was taking Chinese class, but it feels good to be making improvements.
So, I definitely feel distanced from the other students here in terms of schedule since most of them go to bed sometime between midnight and 7am. My roommate went to bed shortly before I got up this morning.
I also feel distanced from them in terms of motivations and interests though. It feels weird to say that I have spiritually developed, but I have been focusing a bit of the Tolstoy-ish/Gandhi-ish 'how to live a good life, how to be a good person, how to do the right thing' kind of questions. This means I don't find as many jokes funny, since I see now that a lot of them are made at the expense of others. I also am watching my own words and action, and, inspired by yogic practices, and am both noticing when others say things which are unnecessary, cruel, or untrue (which I am finding is surprisingly often, and is very annoying, to just hear people talk when they have nothing to say), and I am noticing when I myself say things that are unnecessary, cruel, or untrue. Paying attention to this really makes me realize how little it is necessary to say. I often wonder, if I was not in the room, would my roommate still make the comments or noises he does about his video games? They are not comments directed at me, but what meaning can he have in making these sounds other than to catch my attention and attract my inquiry? This brings me to another point: purpose. So much of what is done seems to be wasted energy, action without purpose. I see this as potentially serving both for a justification for non-violence (since I see retribution as a waste of energy {after accidentally stepping on someone's shoe on the bus the other morning I was hit in the shoulder. However, I was hit after I had already stepped off the shoe. So, what reason did that person have to hit me?}), and a good reason to not say things with no meaning.
My desire to be productive, to be active, and to learn seems to be much stronger than those around me. A lot of my peers play video games, go out drinking, and... well, I honestly don't know what they do with a lot of their time. I usually try to focus on things that have more benefit than immediate pleasure or satisfaction. I want things that will add to my knowledge, or improve me as a person. I hardly ever enjoy just sitting in a room with someone. It usually feels like a waste of time. If it is a good friend of mine then I will spend that time with them, or if I have a good conversation with someone then it feels good, but without a good conversation or a good friend in the equation, I feel like my time would be better spent doing something else. So many of the times I have spent with other K students here people here have just been filled with empty talk. No real information and been exchanged, no growth or change has happened, and much talk has been about nothing. I often find myself not enjoying these kinds of social situations. Many of the people here I have never has a real conversation with, so I really don't know who they are beyond their age, sex, name, and what I find out through casual interaction and observation. I do try, though. Every time I find myself alone with someone I try to learn why they are, what they like, what kind of person the are and what kind they want to be.
I would love to socialize more, but I really don't find myself 'clicking' with the people here very often. The differences of alcohol and sleeping patterns are a big factor, I think. I really do miss having more people around (funny thing to say in a city of 15 million, even with the language barrier). This often leaves me to be alone. For recreation, when I am alone I enjoy reading books (good or classic literature or a non-fiction work), watching documentaries (or good fiction film, something which, as I grow older, I am discovering is almost unknown to my age group), or, best of all, learning a new skill or practicing and improving current skills. I learned martial arts, juggling, and some gymnastics when I was in the US, but doing these things along is not very enjoyable compared to practicing them with a dedicated community. Skill-learning alone is something that gets boring or discouraging fairly quickly, and I don't know of an easy-access community for me to join. (I've already searched for martial arts, juggling, and gymnastics all over the city) With no classes available right now (I'd love to listen to some good lectures), and a severe limitation on English-language books my ability to learn is pretty damn hindered. I really want to read The End of Poverty and Small is Beautiful, which introduces the concept of 'Buddhist economics', or some Dalai Lama books, but they are not available in bookstores in China, and to buy them online and have them sent to China would be so expensive. I could take another two week vacation for that much money. Seriously, the exchange rate and purchasing power over here is that much different.
Yeah, with my aversion to video games and just sitting around and 'spending time with people' without not actively doing anything, I feel pretty cut off from most of the K students.
But lets focus on some positive things too. I don't want you to think that I am just dying over here. Granted, this week has had me feeling pretty, sick and isolated, but I am always pleased to lie down in bed in the evening. Why? Tolstoy. I am still listening to the audio book of War and Peace, and even with the slow progress of only a few chapters each night, it is still very enjoyable. Also, my time in front of the computer at INBAR has given me an easy excuse to read lots of news online. My Poly Sci teacher from Kalamazoo would be so proud. Although the internet connection is WAY too slow for me to get access to the Democracy Now videos, I find the Christian Science Monitor to be a really good paper, and that combined with the good old NY Times is serving me pretty well. I am considering adding the Washington post and The Economist to my list of regularly read news though, just to round it out a bit. Other good things? Without Chinese classes regularly, and with all the K kids speaking English all the time I feel as though my Chinese is worse than it was two weeks ago. To counter this I've decided to start learning a new word or two every day. Since starting at INBAR I've learned 'to shake hands', 'to hold hands', 'bones', 'deposit', and 'to save money'. It is not much, especially compared to what I would learn if I was taking Chinese class, but it feels good to be making improvements.
Jan 7, 2009
Getting Innundated with Bamboo, and that damn ICRP
So, I started my internship with INBAR on Monday, and after two days of proof reading and editing an 99-page academic paper on the subject of Bamboo Land Tenure (written in English by a non-native speaker, but her writing was almost perfect), I have been effectively let loose to wade into the pursuit of fairly open-ended assignments. I will be designing the 2009 INBAR newsletter, which will be sent to about two dozen different countries, and maybe a hundred or so INBAR 'partners' (NGOs, universities, individuals, or companies that work with bamboo and/or rattan who network with INBAR). I will also be constructing the beginnings of a potential publicity film on bamboo housing, hopefully something which John will produce in collaboration with INBAR. As soon as I am done writing thing blog I will probably go over to Jin Wei's office and get a bunch of image and video files, select those that I think are best, and put them on a CD so that John can see what kind of footage and projects INBAR already has. In addition to that I am going to revise, edit, and probably largely recreate the INBAR "Volunteer's Introduction to Beijing," since it is fairly sparse and I am pretty qualified to know what a college student new to Beijing wants/needs to know about life in the city here.
I was planning on having the INBAR internship as my ICRP (Integrative Cultural Research Project, something that all the Kalamazoo students here are required to do), but a major component of the ICRP is interacting with locals and the local culture. Due to the nature of the work I am doing at INBAR... I can't really use it for my ICRP. Fortunately due to a 1 hour 10 minute bus ride to travel between the INBAR offices and my dorm I am an easy opportunity to do an ICRP on a different subject: riding the bus. With about two hours of observation, note-taking, and interaction everyday I think I can get ample information to BS an ICRP. I plan to observe the gender ratios, length of rides, how often/rarely seats are given up, and other general anthropological/sociological observations. Taking a step back through, (and I know I am just starting the ICRP, but) the ICRP seems like a bit of a waste of time to me. The stated goals of the ICRP -are improved language use
-increased understanding of local culture
-firsthand experience with a facet of everyday life in the host culture
-opportunities for interaction with local people
-and opportunities to apply skills and knowledge to a real-life situation.
However, I feel as though I have done most of this stuff already. I've already gotten a feel for the local culture, made local friends and contacts, experienced everyday life, and applied my skills and knowledge. It's not like I have just been sitting in the dormitory with all the other American students speaking English, drinking cheap Chinese beer, gambling, watching cheap DVDs of Hollywood summer blockbuster movies, and going out to eat at Hooters, and going out to party in the foreign district (which is exactly what most of the other students have spent their time doing). While they have been drinking and partying, I have volunteered with a local NGO, been a part of local theatrical performance, joined and participated in local clubs and organizations, and made Chinese friends. Oh yeah... and I've been speaking Chinese. I feel as though the ICRP is something that might be beneficial for me if I had never left the little fortress of American culture and the English language that some of the other students immersed themselves in, but I've been doing ICRP kind of stuff for the whole past semester. So... yeah. I am a bit peeved that I have to do this, 'cause it feels like a total waste of my time. Especially when I am doing work at INBAR that is much more important than myself gaining a greater understanding of the local culture, and my free-time is at a minimum due to the INBAR work.
I am trying to get more students to teach English to. What will probably happen is that when other Kalamazoo students leave Beijing I will take over their students. I don't want to overwhelm myself with work, but I could do with a good 8 hours a week once the new semester starts, which would be enough to not only allow my to cover my expenses, but to make a small profit as well, which would start to recover what I spent during fall quarter.
The INBAR internship has kept me really busy. An 8 hour work day plus a commute all the way to the opposite side of Beijing really doesn't give me much time for anything else. I usually wake up about 7:15, and leave the dorm around 7:45 to arrive at INBAR about 9:20. In the evening I usually leave INBAR around 4:40, and return home around 6:15. I'm usually starving by the time I get back, so I get something to eat, and by the time I get back it is 7ish. Since I need to go to sleep around 11pm in order to get up so early, I only have a few hours of free time. I'd love to do something social or active, but often times people are just preparing to go out partying, or just sitting around reading or playing video games. My roommate plays video games ALL THE TIME. Normally for recreation, relaxation, and a zone-out activity I would just read the news online, check my emails, or read a book. But that is what I spend half of the day doing at INBAR (don't get me wrong, I want to be productive, but there are bottlenecks that are reached, and then I just have to wait for other people to respond to my requests for information, like now), so I don't want to do that at home too. I was also feeling kind of sick earlier this week, so for a few days I really didn't do anything but go to INBAR, work and INBAR, come back from INBAR, and sleep.
Maybe I will just volunteer with INBAR over the summer. Maybe I will travel China. I want to do SIP stuff, but I really don't know what I want to do for my SIP. I keep coming back to anarchistic things, which would work pretty well, I have to admit: Easy to research (plenty of philosophy, political philosophy, and history to it), and it is something I am already somewhat well-versed in. I'd rather do something else though. ...But what?
My lack of connection to the people around me (I mean th other K students in the dorm) makes me miss Kalamazoo. I really taking classes and being able to read an learn. I also miss the people that I casually socialized with, and of course I miss my good friends that I lives with during my Sophomore year.
I was planning on having the INBAR internship as my ICRP (Integrative Cultural Research Project, something that all the Kalamazoo students here are required to do), but a major component of the ICRP is interacting with locals and the local culture. Due to the nature of the work I am doing at INBAR... I can't really use it for my ICRP. Fortunately due to a 1 hour 10 minute bus ride to travel between the INBAR offices and my dorm I am an easy opportunity to do an ICRP on a different subject: riding the bus. With about two hours of observation, note-taking, and interaction everyday I think I can get ample information to BS an ICRP. I plan to observe the gender ratios, length of rides, how often/rarely seats are given up, and other general anthropological/sociological observations. Taking a step back through, (and I know I am just starting the ICRP, but) the ICRP seems like a bit of a waste of time to me. The stated goals of the ICRP -are improved language use
-increased understanding of local culture
-firsthand experience with a facet of everyday life in the host culture
-opportunities for interaction with local people
-and opportunities to apply skills and knowledge to a real-life situation.
However, I feel as though I have done most of this stuff already. I've already gotten a feel for the local culture, made local friends and contacts, experienced everyday life, and applied my skills and knowledge. It's not like I have just been sitting in the dormitory with all the other American students speaking English, drinking cheap Chinese beer, gambling, watching cheap DVDs of Hollywood summer blockbuster movies, and going out to eat at Hooters, and going out to party in the foreign district (which is exactly what most of the other students have spent their time doing). While they have been drinking and partying, I have volunteered with a local NGO, been a part of local theatrical performance, joined and participated in local clubs and organizations, and made Chinese friends. Oh yeah... and I've been speaking Chinese. I feel as though the ICRP is something that might be beneficial for me if I had never left the little fortress of American culture and the English language that some of the other students immersed themselves in, but I've been doing ICRP kind of stuff for the whole past semester. So... yeah. I am a bit peeved that I have to do this, 'cause it feels like a total waste of my time. Especially when I am doing work at INBAR that is much more important than myself gaining a greater understanding of the local culture, and my free-time is at a minimum due to the INBAR work.
I am trying to get more students to teach English to. What will probably happen is that when other Kalamazoo students leave Beijing I will take over their students. I don't want to overwhelm myself with work, but I could do with a good 8 hours a week once the new semester starts, which would be enough to not only allow my to cover my expenses, but to make a small profit as well, which would start to recover what I spent during fall quarter.
The INBAR internship has kept me really busy. An 8 hour work day plus a commute all the way to the opposite side of Beijing really doesn't give me much time for anything else. I usually wake up about 7:15, and leave the dorm around 7:45 to arrive at INBAR about 9:20. In the evening I usually leave INBAR around 4:40, and return home around 6:15. I'm usually starving by the time I get back, so I get something to eat, and by the time I get back it is 7ish. Since I need to go to sleep around 11pm in order to get up so early, I only have a few hours of free time. I'd love to do something social or active, but often times people are just preparing to go out partying, or just sitting around reading or playing video games. My roommate plays video games ALL THE TIME. Normally for recreation, relaxation, and a zone-out activity I would just read the news online, check my emails, or read a book. But that is what I spend half of the day doing at INBAR (don't get me wrong, I want to be productive, but there are bottlenecks that are reached, and then I just have to wait for other people to respond to my requests for information, like now), so I don't want to do that at home too. I was also feeling kind of sick earlier this week, so for a few days I really didn't do anything but go to INBAR, work and INBAR, come back from INBAR, and sleep.
Maybe I will just volunteer with INBAR over the summer. Maybe I will travel China. I want to do SIP stuff, but I really don't know what I want to do for my SIP. I keep coming back to anarchistic things, which would work pretty well, I have to admit: Easy to research (plenty of philosophy, political philosophy, and history to it), and it is something I am already somewhat well-versed in. I'd rather do something else though. ...But what?
My lack of connection to the people around me (I mean th other K students in the dorm) makes me miss Kalamazoo. I really taking classes and being able to read an learn. I also miss the people that I casually socialized with, and of course I miss my good friends that I lives with during my Sophomore year.
Jan 3, 2009
Photos Uploaded
Due to me tagging along with Jamie when he went to Starbucks today for free wireless internet (you don't really have to buy anything to enjoy their wireless network), I got all of my photos from my vacation uploaded today, a bit sooner than I had expected to. My journal, my pictures from Yangshuo, from Xiamen... They're all on my photobucket site (http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/evilgollum/China/) on the China page, or in various sub-albums arranged by city. A good number of them (especially in Guangzhou) are pictures of stuff in museums, but a lot of the landscape in Yangshuo is just stunning. I recommend reading through my journal writings at the same time as looking through the pictures, so you can really get a feel for what it all felt and looked like. Enjoy!
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